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Writer's pictureKate Winchester

Fear is the Path to the dark side...

Supporting young people to navigate these challenging times.



I couldn't resist another Star Wars quote. I was reminded of it when I was contacted recently by a younger friend, seeking my advice on the current challenges we are facing on both a local and global scale.. They asked me what I thought about it all and what they should do? I spent some time thinking about what to say and about how best to address their questions. I knew that I had to remain as impartial as possible -it wasn't really about answering their questions directly, it was about enabling them to find the answers themselves. I wanted to ensure that what I was about to say was something I would have wanted someone to have said to me when I was in my 20s.


The words flowed and I thought I would share some of them with you - there may be someone out there seeking the same sort of solace for themselves or someone they love who is struggling right now. Here is what I wrote...


Hey there,

I am struggling myself right now! I truly feel for you younger ones and I would start off by suggesting you keep asking questions! You are at a critical stage in your life - forming your values and beliefs and deciding what really matters to you. We tend to make decisions based in the moment and this frequently doesn't serve us in the long term. Explore what really matters to you and write this down - what do you value and what's your bottom line? What and whom would you do anything for?


Listen to some of the great motivational speakers and coaches. Tim Ferris and Tony Robbins spring to mind. My favourite Tony Robbins quote is "All decision making is value clarification". Once you have a clear set of values supporting you, you will find it less of a struggle to make decisions. Many people have limiting beliefs and values that don't support them, so anything seems like a good idea in the moment. When we don't have a clear set of values and beliefs we can become fearful and easily swayed by fearful thoughts about life and events. We then miss opportunities and see only darkness and gloom around us. You have a great attitude and vibe about you - keep your mind open to possibilities and don't believe everything you're told! Have faith in your ability to make your own choices and decisions! Always happy to talk more.


Based on the above, here are some additional top tips;

  • have a bigger vision than simply relying on goals or targets - have something you can live by everyday

  • you don't' have to follow the crowd

  • go with your gut feeling - it's usually right

  • listen to people you respect and who are going places

  • everyone has a scared little child in them - some hide that child better than others

  • get clear about what you stand for

  • accept that your values and beliefs can change - especially if they aren't serving you

  • expand your mind - have a willingness to listen to new ideas and suggestions

  • it's okay not to have an opinion about something

  • it's okay to want more information before making a decision


Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our point of view.” – Obi Wan Kenobi



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